Throughout your entire life you’re going to meet a lot of people. You’re going to talk to, become friends with, have a relationship with, laugh with, love with, a lot of people in this world. However, the hardest part about meeting someone, is understanding that you may have to let them go. Odd statement, but it makes sense. Out of everyone you’re going to meet, the actual percentage of those who you’re going to actually “keep” in your life is pretty small. Leaving an old acquaintance, friend or lover is arguably one of the hardest things in life, at least, for most people; including me.
The point that I’m trying to push forth in this post is, well, to try to give you some insight on what I’ve learned and have been told and maybe I can put it in a way you can understand and apply to your own lives.
You don’t really get a taste of this until lovely high school, thanks to hormones and something called “growing up” but that isn’t to say it only happens in high school. In high school you will get a real taste of what a “toxic friendship” is going to be. You may even get a real taste of what a toxic relationship is. For those of you that have experienced this, it sucks. It sucks a lot. It always starts out so well, why would it go any other way? You get so attached and close to someone, like you two were meant to find one another and be the best of friends/lovers. Then after maybe a few months of this honeymoon phase, our good ‘ol friend reality knocks on the door. Then things go wrong, to put it very simply.
Okay, stepping away from everything that goes wrong, let me share with you some of my own insight.
First and foremost, it’s okay to let people go.
Granted, I’m sure you know enough about this but some of us really struggle with this concept. You convince yourself constantly that “things are just rough right now, but it’ll get better from here. I’m sure of it.” And you know, sometimes that actually does happen. You hit a rough patch, but you get up and move on. Our problem is trying to differentiate what a “rough patch” is versus a “bad relationship”. Whether you think of a partner, or a friend, it happens. I want you to know that it’s all okay to get up and walk away from something that hurts, that’s toxic to be around, that’s stressful just to think about.
Secondly, and lastly, read the signs.
You are NOT meant to be best friends with everyone you meet no matter how social you are. It doesn’t matter and life does not care. You are going to make “enemies” and you are going to meet someone who will change and ultimately leave you in wondering “what happened?”. It’s wonderful that you two started off so well, but that is not an explanation nor an excuse for how they are treating you right now, it’s not okay and it should not be tolerated. You can’t continue hurting yourself, and pile all this stress on you, when all it’s doing is killing you inside. You’ll know in your heart if something is meant to be, but you will also know in your head if it’s killing you too. Your heart is built to love, and your head is built to think. That’s why you don’t feel it in your heart when you think “should I leave this person?”. Rather, that’s when your head tells you to move on.
Please, look after yourself and focus on what really matters to you. I’m sure you two had the greatest memories, and if that is the case listen: Don’t taint those amazing memories of your past with ruined nights of your present. If you want to remember them for how they made you feel, then it’s best to drop it and move on, trust me.